Wish list Wednesdays - The three things I badly wish I could have

I read about the creative prompt and the Wish List Wednesdays on Preeti Shenoy’s blog and it sounded like fun  J So here I am with my answer for her prompt :D

The three things I badly wish I could have are :

1.       The ability to drive : I had a two wheeler before and I am not new to the roads. I enjoy driving and it gives me a sense of independence. One of my friends sat with me on my scooty and said that my behaviour while driving is so different from the person that I am, generally. She said that I was a lot more aggressive and confident on the vehicle J whereas I am hesitant and a little pessimistic otherwise.   Now,  I don’t know car driving. In the sense , I actually went for driving classes and got a license but didn’t successfully start driving on the roads. But I long for the day when I would confidently drive my car on the roads and go wherever I want. I want to enjoy that independence.

2.       The ability to ignore bullshit and move on in life : I have a very bad habit of clinging onto things a way too much and get stuck there. I see people around me, who  may have more difficulties than I have in life , but are still happy and find their own formulas for happiness. I fail to do so. And I badly want God to teach me to move on in life. Of course , if I say this , my dear ones will always say , it’s not God but You who have to try and change. Whatever , I will wait for the day when I will start ignoring the unpleasant things that happen to me and still be lively and don’t rub it on someone else.

3.       A little more height J. I am short and I have always adored women who are tall and have long legs. I feel that any kind of dress will suit them and they look awesome , especially in sarees  J. I know this wish can never be fulfilled in this life of mine , but then I wish , I was tall.

English Vinglish

Finally made it to this movie yesterday night along with Lavanya and Veeresh , after a lot of planning and stuff. I am really glad I could make it……. of course not to forget…… with Ravi’s grace ( he took take care of Mahati  ;-) )

English Vinglish is not just another parody on people who don’t know English and don’t know how to manage in the States. It’s a lot more. Its about a “woman” , her individuality and self respect.  Married woman sacrifice a lot of things in life to take care of their family. English Vinglish is a sincere attempt to show all those women how to enjoy life and discover their inner peace and happiness.

Shashi ( Sridevi ) is a home-maker and has 2 kids and  a super busy husband. She is very good at cooking and making laddoos is her hobby , which she translates into a small business. People are very appreciative of her laddoos. But unfortunately , her own family makes fun of her in different ways. Her daughter doesn’t want her to come to the Parent Teacher Meeting just because she can’t talk in English. And her husband always makes fun of her that she is born to make laddoos. The subtle emotions portrayed by Shashi just melt your heart away. Kudos to the story writer and the director.

Moving on… Shashi has her sister’s family settled in New York and her niece is getting married. Situations force Shashi to travel to The United States of America alone. And the rest of the movie is about what she faces there because of not knowing English and how she joins an English class and finds a set of people who love and respect her for what she is.  Her speech in English at the end of the movie is phenomenal.   She looks just fabulous in that red saree……….. so simple and yet elegant…… just like the personality of Shashi J. And what a comeback by Sridevi !! I don’t think I can imagine anybody else in that role J. She looked just awesome in her simple plain cotton sarees.

There are many powerful dialogues which just melt your heart away!!!

“Marriage is between two people who are “equal”. And there will be many situations where one will feel that they are less than the other. But both of them have to help each other , when it happens. And when the other person cannot help you , then you have to help yourself. Self help is the best help “.

 “Agar Mard Khaanaa banaayee , to woh kala hai. Par agar aurat khana banaaye to woh uski jimmedari hai “.

I get really dis-heartened when I see people in my workplace ( client location ) struggling to communicate in English. There are many people  who don’t even make an attempt to talk grammatically correct language. They just manage with the bits and pieces they know. Not knowing English is not anybody’s fault. We are not born with any type of skill. We just develop it. But then , when your job demands it , don’t you think we have to make an attempt to “learn” it properly and make every attempt to succeed??  In the movie , whatever may be the circumstances which lead Shashi to learn English , it is the passion with which she learns it ( proper , grammatically correct English ) that is commendable.  

Phones…. Phones and Phones all the way!!!

Well…….. life has changed a lot in the past few years in terms of technology. There used to days when I had a Nokia 1100, a white one and used to be happy messaging and attending calls. I felt that was sufficient. That’s what we use a phone for right? To call people and talk to them. Or at the maximum message them when necessary. If you come in an order ,  we first try to talk to people in person , and if they are not available , would try to reach them through calls and messages. But sadly , now-a- days , it’s the other way around. We first call. It’s so easy right.

These days , a phone is something much  more to people. It has everything………… damn it……… everything…….. You can call , you can message , you can chat , take pics , check internet and the list goes on and on and on…. Phew!!! People can live without their partners for a half day , but without a phone…………… OMG…. No way….. The moment you misplace your phone , your breathing stops. Where is it …. Where is it ?? It has become a mania. People sit together but they don’t talk. They are busy in their own worlds. Their physical proximities and mental proximities are so different. It’s very unfortunate.

God has given us such a precious life. Don’t you think we need to live every moment to the fullest. If you  want to talk , goooooo… meet that friend and talk to her/him. Use your voice , not a mere gadget. Give your 100% to that person without any distractions. Time is precious. So it’s the best gift that you can give to anybody. If you want to play a game , call people , meet people and play with them. Not in your phone. Most of the time I see people coming for dinner in restaurants, but they are busy doing something with their phones. They just don’t respond to each other. Many feel that we socialise much more when we have handy phones where we can check all networking sites anytime .Is this what real socialising means ?

There is no human touch. I am not denying the advantages of having phones. Yes , when you need something , you are at advantage. For example , if you stuck in traffic , you can call and tell your family you will be late. If you need it , it’s always there. But all of us use it a little more often than required….. to the extent that we forget that there is a physical world around us. Priorities are changing because of it and the value of people………. Drecreasing!!

So this is what technology is all about eh ? Nice……. 

My Birth Story and the Healthy Mother Wellness Clinic

I was really fortunate enough to have birthed with Dr Vijaya and her team. It was a different experience altogether. Way back before I was pregnant, normal birth was something that I dreamt about and also thought it is impossible these days.  My mother had two C-sections. Hence I envied two of my aunts who had normal births. It was next to impossible.

But then , once I was pregnant , one of my friends suggested me this “Healthy Mother Wellness Clinic” and I read through its website (http://healthy-mother.com/ ).  I kind of wondered whether it is really possible and I was all praises for Dr Vijaya. I e-mailed her right way about my status and when I would return to India and if taking classes at her center was possible. At that point of time , attending her classes was the only thing that I was looking at. I thought I would be really fortunate enough if I would make it to the classes. Never ever thought of birthing with them. Because , this was not my decision alone , I had to convince my parents and in-laws also for it. So I didn’t want to revolt and make a scene.

I was back in India in August 2011 and  contacted her in the last week of August. My parents and I went to meet her at her clinic to know about the classes. I must say that I was pretty impressed with her. My father always believed the midwifery model of birthing and was quite interested about it too. But my mom wasn’t. Dr Vijaya was a midwife and not a certified OB. And my mom didn’t want to take a chance. So we started the classes. Every Sunday I and my mom would attend the classes. As each class passed by , my confidence in her just kept on increasing and I felt that this is the right place for me. Lots of myths burst out in those classes. We got to know about so many things. My mom was also surprised and quite impressed. I voiced my opinion very strongly that I want to birth in her center. And finally she said she was fine if my husband and in-laws didn’t have a problem. My husband was always with me and wanted my comfort in this. After every class , I would explain everything to him in chat. So he was also very well informed about everything. So he convinced my in-laws.

After my delivery , I can only say that my mom and husband are proud of me and the decision I took to birth with Dr Vijaya. Many hospitals don’t allow our dear ones to be with us during this huge process of delivering a baby. But HM gave me the advantage of having my husband and my mom with me till my baby came out. They were the first ones to see her and my husband cut her umbilical cord. Was it a dream come true?  J  How can I thank Dr Vijaya for this………… seriously.

The classes proved so useful. I used to do all the instructed exercises at home regularly. And I used to walk for atleast half an hour everyday without fail. And there you go…………. Had a natural birth without a single medicine or a single prick on my body………. Completely normal without any type of stitch.

October 24^th 2011:

Around 5 PM in the evening , I went along with my husband for a usual walk for the day. I could sense some type of pain, may be two times in that half an hour but didn’t actually consider it. I thought its fine. And then , as I was getting super bored at home , we thought that we would go to a movie at 7PM in the night. I was just getting dressed for it and suddenly came a huge contraction. I sat on my bed. Now the game starts. I felt that this is something to definitely consider J. From then on , I guess it was one contraction in half an hour or so with very minimal intensity. Called up Dr Vijaya at 8PM and told her about this. She asked me not to worry too much and keep eating and drinking frequently.  I guess I was in my early stage of labour. And this stage depending on our body and the baby can take an hour or an entire week to transition to the next stage. So we just had to calm down and wait.

October 25^th 2011 :

 Till midnight , there was no problem and it continued to be one contraction in half an hour or so. After midnight , the contractions started coming more frequently. Once in 15 mins. But the intensity was not that high. Called up Vijaya and told her the same. No need to worry. Then at around 2 AM in the morning , they started coming once in 10 mins or 7 mins sometimes. Again a call to Vijaya and she suggested my mom to bathe me and pour lukewarm water on my tummy for 20 mins.  It seems that sometimes a hot bath can make us feel really better and at the same time progress the labour. Water works wonders in delivery J. And yes it did for me.  After giving me bath , my mom and husband went to sleep for almost an hour as they were awake and busy noting contractions till then. They were tired. My mom had already packed a bag just incase we need to go to the hospital. After the bath , my contractions became more frequent , once in 3 mins . And the pain had increased a lot. But then , I wanted my mom and hubby to take some rest so didn’t wake them up. Had these 3 mins contractions till 4:30 in the morning. After that , I couldn’t bear the pain and the contractions started coming without and any gap. I just didn’t have time to take a breath. One after the other , one after the other. Then we called Vijaya and she felt that there is lot of time. She heard me through my contraction and said its okay. But then , for my sake , she asked us to come by 7 AM in the morning to the clinic. At 6 AM , we wanted to start and then we realised that there was a power cut from 6 to 7 in the morning.  And I had to climb down 5 floors through the stairs. It was super tough , but then…….. now I feel that that decent made my baby push deep down in the Pelvis. God knows how I sat in the car. The pain was just un-bearable , but then good news was that it gave me a break of some seconds between the contractions and allowed me to breath.

When we arrived at the center , Crystal was there and she checked me and said that I was 100% dilated and my baby was going to come soon. Everybody got a shock. Crystal called up Vijaya and she too was surprised. Later on , she told me how silent I was in my contractions that she couldn’t even guess that the labour has progressed so much.  100% dilated. That means , I had the major part of my labour at home and now it is just the pushing that’s remaining. The baby was already in my birth canal. Initially I dint feel the urge to push but then now I don’t even remember when I started pushing. By now , Dr Vijaya had also arrived and assisting. Within very less time , my baby came out in the position that Dr Vijaya had asked me to use. I was actually not fully aware of what was happening….. I was in some kind of a trance. But my mom remembers every bit of it and says that it was simply amazing  J.

She was immediately placed on my chest and the first thing I noticed were her powerful eyes J. Then  Ravi cut the chord and the umbilical chord and placenta were removed.

What an experience ! Thanks Vijaya and Crystal!! This was something that was just out of the world for me J

Situation Demads!!! :-(

I support Anna Hazare and I guess he will ashamed of me if he listens to this. I joined a car driving school………primarily to get a license and also learn driving. I have been resisting this all through my life till now. But then the dire necessity of a driving license has made me compromise and go to them for help. To be plain, I don’t like giving bribes. Now, if I start elaborating the subject of bribes, then I don’t think this post will ever be enough for what I would want to write.

When I was in my engineering, I wrote the learners license test and failed twice. And finally got it in the third attempt. It was one hell kind of an experience and each time I wrote the exam , it would take 4 to 5 hours in a day , starting from standing in the queue , taking the photograph , waiting to write the test and then for them to give us the result sheet. The computers in that center have such horrible mouse that it would take an hour to move from one question to another. Of course, that may not be an excuse but somehow I used to fail that exam and I don’t know why :-(.

Most importantly, the people in the RTA office are so corrupt that one Anna Hazare is not enough to set right that whole traffic department and system. Even though it was tough, I and my bro went the right way and got the LLR. We could not proceed to the practical test as I always feared that he would wantedly fail me as I won’t give him a bribe. I had a scooty and use it for many years on the roads of Hyderabad, but never had a driving license. I could not do a U-turn with the scooty without putting my leg down and that meant a big FAIL in the practical test, hence no driving license.

But now I need it and I need it for a car and that too in a month’s time which meant I don’t have time for a second chance in the practical test. Hence, I had to go in for a driving school as they had agents who get it done. See how necessity pulls us down to what levels!!

Off goes my job in Wipro!!

But with a very valid and a responsible reason :-). I resigned!

My instant reaction to this:
Tears in my eyes and a very sad and an unhappy feeling. I was in the same company from when I was campus recruited. It’s been four and a half years. Having a job always gave me a kind of confidence that I am worth something in life:-). Years back when I studied in school and college, I never ever though I could get a job. May be I under-estimated myself ;-). But then, being recruited by Wipro was a very nice feeling that I had as it gave me confidence in life. Now losing that suddenly gave a jolt to my self-confidence and everything.

My after thoughts:
Shouldn’t I be ashamed of crying when I had to resign? In fact I should be proud I did it :-). I did it for my child and this act only proves that my child is more important to me than anything else. I was so wrong in thinking that having a job was a measure of my competency. How materialistic was I thinking huhhhh !! In life , being a loving mother is a tougher job than being a good IT professional. My mother is working too but then she could give us the attention that we required at a tender age as her job was not so demanding and had flexible timings. But our jobs now are a way tooo demanding and take away whatever energy we have for the day. I would say that even work from home is a bad option, as you are at home for namesake and always in front of the computer. It takes away so much energy. Overall, I don’t feel that bad:-). My mother told me that this is a golden opportunity that God has given you to concentrate on what you are doing. How true!! :-). She said “Till now, you were a good “working wife”. Now be a good “homemaker” and a “mother”. Be glad that you are getting this opportunity. Not many people have this independence.”

Conclusion:
Life teaches us so many lessons as we go up the ladder of age. I am glad I could grab one!