English Vinglish

Finally made it to this movie yesterday night along with Lavanya and Veeresh , after a lot of planning and stuff. I am really glad I could make it……. of course not to forget…… with Ravi’s grace ( he took take care of Mahati  ;-) )

English Vinglish is not just another parody on people who don’t know English and don’t know how to manage in the States. It’s a lot more. Its about a “woman” , her individuality and self respect.  Married woman sacrifice a lot of things in life to take care of their family. English Vinglish is a sincere attempt to show all those women how to enjoy life and discover their inner peace and happiness.

Shashi ( Sridevi ) is a home-maker and has 2 kids and  a super busy husband. She is very good at cooking and making laddoos is her hobby , which she translates into a small business. People are very appreciative of her laddoos. But unfortunately , her own family makes fun of her in different ways. Her daughter doesn’t want her to come to the Parent Teacher Meeting just because she can’t talk in English. And her husband always makes fun of her that she is born to make laddoos. The subtle emotions portrayed by Shashi just melt your heart away. Kudos to the story writer and the director.

Moving on… Shashi has her sister’s family settled in New York and her niece is getting married. Situations force Shashi to travel to The United States of America alone. And the rest of the movie is about what she faces there because of not knowing English and how she joins an English class and finds a set of people who love and respect her for what she is.  Her speech in English at the end of the movie is phenomenal.   She looks just fabulous in that red saree……….. so simple and yet elegant…… just like the personality of Shashi J. And what a comeback by Sridevi !! I don’t think I can imagine anybody else in that role J. She looked just awesome in her simple plain cotton sarees.

There are many powerful dialogues which just melt your heart away!!!

“Marriage is between two people who are “equal”. And there will be many situations where one will feel that they are less than the other. But both of them have to help each other , when it happens. And when the other person cannot help you , then you have to help yourself. Self help is the best help “.

 “Agar Mard Khaanaa banaayee , to woh kala hai. Par agar aurat khana banaaye to woh uski jimmedari hai “.

I get really dis-heartened when I see people in my workplace ( client location ) struggling to communicate in English. There are many people  who don’t even make an attempt to talk grammatically correct language. They just manage with the bits and pieces they know. Not knowing English is not anybody’s fault. We are not born with any type of skill. We just develop it. But then , when your job demands it , don’t you think we have to make an attempt to “learn” it properly and make every attempt to succeed??  In the movie , whatever may be the circumstances which lead Shashi to learn English , it is the passion with which she learns it ( proper , grammatically correct English ) that is commendable.  

Phones…. Phones and Phones all the way!!!

Well…….. life has changed a lot in the past few years in terms of technology. There used to days when I had a Nokia 1100, a white one and used to be happy messaging and attending calls. I felt that was sufficient. That’s what we use a phone for right? To call people and talk to them. Or at the maximum message them when necessary. If you come in an order ,  we first try to talk to people in person , and if they are not available , would try to reach them through calls and messages. But sadly , now-a- days , it’s the other way around. We first call. It’s so easy right.

These days , a phone is something much  more to people. It has everything………… damn it……… everything…….. You can call , you can message , you can chat , take pics , check internet and the list goes on and on and on…. Phew!!! People can live without their partners for a half day , but without a phone…………… OMG…. No way….. The moment you misplace your phone , your breathing stops. Where is it …. Where is it ?? It has become a mania. People sit together but they don’t talk. They are busy in their own worlds. Their physical proximities and mental proximities are so different. It’s very unfortunate.

God has given us such a precious life. Don’t you think we need to live every moment to the fullest. If you  want to talk , goooooo… meet that friend and talk to her/him. Use your voice , not a mere gadget. Give your 100% to that person without any distractions. Time is precious. So it’s the best gift that you can give to anybody. If you want to play a game , call people , meet people and play with them. Not in your phone. Most of the time I see people coming for dinner in restaurants, but they are busy doing something with their phones. They just don’t respond to each other. Many feel that we socialise much more when we have handy phones where we can check all networking sites anytime .Is this what real socialising means ?

There is no human touch. I am not denying the advantages of having phones. Yes , when you need something , you are at advantage. For example , if you stuck in traffic , you can call and tell your family you will be late. If you need it , it’s always there. But all of us use it a little more often than required….. to the extent that we forget that there is a physical world around us. Priorities are changing because of it and the value of people………. Drecreasing!!

So this is what technology is all about eh ? Nice……. 

My Birth Story and the Healthy Mother Wellness Clinic

I was really fortunate enough to have birthed with Dr Vijaya and her team. It was a different experience altogether. Way back before I was pregnant, normal birth was something that I dreamt about and also thought it is impossible these days.  My mother had two C-sections. Hence I envied two of my aunts who had normal births. It was next to impossible.

But then , once I was pregnant , one of my friends suggested me this “Healthy Mother Wellness Clinic” and I read through its website (http://healthy-mother.com/ ).  I kind of wondered whether it is really possible and I was all praises for Dr Vijaya. I e-mailed her right way about my status and when I would return to India and if taking classes at her center was possible. At that point of time , attending her classes was the only thing that I was looking at. I thought I would be really fortunate enough if I would make it to the classes. Never ever thought of birthing with them. Because , this was not my decision alone , I had to convince my parents and in-laws also for it. So I didn’t want to revolt and make a scene.

I was back in India in August 2011 and  contacted her in the last week of August. My parents and I went to meet her at her clinic to know about the classes. I must say that I was pretty impressed with her. My father always believed the midwifery model of birthing and was quite interested about it too. But my mom wasn’t. Dr Vijaya was a midwife and not a certified OB. And my mom didn’t want to take a chance. So we started the classes. Every Sunday I and my mom would attend the classes. As each class passed by , my confidence in her just kept on increasing and I felt that this is the right place for me. Lots of myths burst out in those classes. We got to know about so many things. My mom was also surprised and quite impressed. I voiced my opinion very strongly that I want to birth in her center. And finally she said she was fine if my husband and in-laws didn’t have a problem. My husband was always with me and wanted my comfort in this. After every class , I would explain everything to him in chat. So he was also very well informed about everything. So he convinced my in-laws.

After my delivery , I can only say that my mom and husband are proud of me and the decision I took to birth with Dr Vijaya. Many hospitals don’t allow our dear ones to be with us during this huge process of delivering a baby. But HM gave me the advantage of having my husband and my mom with me till my baby came out. They were the first ones to see her and my husband cut her umbilical cord. Was it a dream come true?  J  How can I thank Dr Vijaya for this………… seriously.

The classes proved so useful. I used to do all the instructed exercises at home regularly. And I used to walk for atleast half an hour everyday without fail. And there you go…………. Had a natural birth without a single medicine or a single prick on my body………. Completely normal without any type of stitch.

October 24^th 2011:

Around 5 PM in the evening , I went along with my husband for a usual walk for the day. I could sense some type of pain, may be two times in that half an hour but didn’t actually consider it. I thought its fine. And then , as I was getting super bored at home , we thought that we would go to a movie at 7PM in the night. I was just getting dressed for it and suddenly came a huge contraction. I sat on my bed. Now the game starts. I felt that this is something to definitely consider J. From then on , I guess it was one contraction in half an hour or so with very minimal intensity. Called up Dr Vijaya at 8PM and told her about this. She asked me not to worry too much and keep eating and drinking frequently.  I guess I was in my early stage of labour. And this stage depending on our body and the baby can take an hour or an entire week to transition to the next stage. So we just had to calm down and wait.

October 25^th 2011 :

 Till midnight , there was no problem and it continued to be one contraction in half an hour or so. After midnight , the contractions started coming more frequently. Once in 15 mins. But the intensity was not that high. Called up Vijaya and told her the same. No need to worry. Then at around 2 AM in the morning , they started coming once in 10 mins or 7 mins sometimes. Again a call to Vijaya and she suggested my mom to bathe me and pour lukewarm water on my tummy for 20 mins.  It seems that sometimes a hot bath can make us feel really better and at the same time progress the labour. Water works wonders in delivery J. And yes it did for me.  After giving me bath , my mom and husband went to sleep for almost an hour as they were awake and busy noting contractions till then. They were tired. My mom had already packed a bag just incase we need to go to the hospital. After the bath , my contractions became more frequent , once in 3 mins . And the pain had increased a lot. But then , I wanted my mom and hubby to take some rest so didn’t wake them up. Had these 3 mins contractions till 4:30 in the morning. After that , I couldn’t bear the pain and the contractions started coming without and any gap. I just didn’t have time to take a breath. One after the other , one after the other. Then we called Vijaya and she felt that there is lot of time. She heard me through my contraction and said its okay. But then , for my sake , she asked us to come by 7 AM in the morning to the clinic. At 6 AM , we wanted to start and then we realised that there was a power cut from 6 to 7 in the morning.  And I had to climb down 5 floors through the stairs. It was super tough , but then…….. now I feel that that decent made my baby push deep down in the Pelvis. God knows how I sat in the car. The pain was just un-bearable , but then good news was that it gave me a break of some seconds between the contractions and allowed me to breath.

When we arrived at the center , Crystal was there and she checked me and said that I was 100% dilated and my baby was going to come soon. Everybody got a shock. Crystal called up Vijaya and she too was surprised. Later on , she told me how silent I was in my contractions that she couldn’t even guess that the labour has progressed so much.  100% dilated. That means , I had the major part of my labour at home and now it is just the pushing that’s remaining. The baby was already in my birth canal. Initially I dint feel the urge to push but then now I don’t even remember when I started pushing. By now , Dr Vijaya had also arrived and assisting. Within very less time , my baby came out in the position that Dr Vijaya had asked me to use. I was actually not fully aware of what was happening….. I was in some kind of a trance. But my mom remembers every bit of it and says that it was simply amazing  J.

She was immediately placed on my chest and the first thing I noticed were her powerful eyes J. Then  Ravi cut the chord and the umbilical chord and placenta were removed.

What an experience ! Thanks Vijaya and Crystal!! This was something that was just out of the world for me J

Situation Demads!!! :-(

I support Anna Hazare and I guess he will ashamed of me if he listens to this. I joined a car driving school………primarily to get a license and also learn driving. I have been resisting this all through my life till now. But then the dire necessity of a driving license has made me compromise and go to them for help. To be plain, I don’t like giving bribes. Now, if I start elaborating the subject of bribes, then I don’t think this post will ever be enough for what I would want to write.

When I was in my engineering, I wrote the learners license test and failed twice. And finally got it in the third attempt. It was one hell kind of an experience and each time I wrote the exam , it would take 4 to 5 hours in a day , starting from standing in the queue , taking the photograph , waiting to write the test and then for them to give us the result sheet. The computers in that center have such horrible mouse that it would take an hour to move from one question to another. Of course, that may not be an excuse but somehow I used to fail that exam and I don’t know why :-(.

Most importantly, the people in the RTA office are so corrupt that one Anna Hazare is not enough to set right that whole traffic department and system. Even though it was tough, I and my bro went the right way and got the LLR. We could not proceed to the practical test as I always feared that he would wantedly fail me as I won’t give him a bribe. I had a scooty and use it for many years on the roads of Hyderabad, but never had a driving license. I could not do a U-turn with the scooty without putting my leg down and that meant a big FAIL in the practical test, hence no driving license.

But now I need it and I need it for a car and that too in a month’s time which meant I don’t have time for a second chance in the practical test. Hence, I had to go in for a driving school as they had agents who get it done. See how necessity pulls us down to what levels!!

Off goes my job in Wipro!!

But with a very valid and a responsible reason :-). I resigned!

My instant reaction to this:
Tears in my eyes and a very sad and an unhappy feeling. I was in the same company from when I was campus recruited. It’s been four and a half years. Having a job always gave me a kind of confidence that I am worth something in life:-). Years back when I studied in school and college, I never ever though I could get a job. May be I under-estimated myself ;-). But then, being recruited by Wipro was a very nice feeling that I had as it gave me confidence in life. Now losing that suddenly gave a jolt to my self-confidence and everything.

My after thoughts:
Shouldn’t I be ashamed of crying when I had to resign? In fact I should be proud I did it :-). I did it for my child and this act only proves that my child is more important to me than anything else. I was so wrong in thinking that having a job was a measure of my competency. How materialistic was I thinking huhhhh !! In life , being a loving mother is a tougher job than being a good IT professional. My mother is working too but then she could give us the attention that we required at a tender age as her job was not so demanding and had flexible timings. But our jobs now are a way tooo demanding and take away whatever energy we have for the day. I would say that even work from home is a bad option, as you are at home for namesake and always in front of the computer. It takes away so much energy. Overall, I don’t feel that bad:-). My mother told me that this is a golden opportunity that God has given you to concentrate on what you are doing. How true!! :-). She said “Till now, you were a good “working wife”. Now be a good “homemaker” and a “mother”. Be glad that you are getting this opportunity. Not many people have this independence.”

Conclusion:
Life teaches us so many lessons as we go up the ladder of age. I am glad I could grab one!

Nice!!

I got a forwarded mail from Malar today. Thanks to her , I started my day on a very positive note. The essence of it stirred all emotions in me and I had a new ray of hope that I can write in the same way someday.

Can’t help but put this as a post in my blog :-) !!

The Stranger

She was getting engaged.
And all I could do was stand by and applaud along with all.
I didn’t dare opening my mouth for fearing of saying something stupid , something like “I LOVE YOU”.

I remembered the other day when she had come to me with red eyes. Her “best friend” was going away. It had never mattered to me that her best friend was a guy. But her tears awoke the sin of jealousy in my heart. Fighting it , I had consoled her and given her chocolates to eat. She proceeded to rest her head in the crook of my arm. And promptly fell asleep. I chuckled at her bay-like innocence. But now , as I applauded , I felt something stabbing at my heart.

She was getting married.
I saw her come down the stairs decked out in her bridal finery. Never had I seen her looking this pretty. I saw her taking the seven rounds around the sacred fire with the man I had come to hate , holding his hand.I saw her exchanging garlands with him.

She was a total stranger to me now.

I saw her standing near the car when they both came over to me. I wondered what they wanted. I wondered how to say farewell to the Departed.
Nevertheless , as my daughter and son-in-law touched my feet , I blessed them. She was openly crying , I told her not to worry. That I will always be there.
She responded by hugging me. And I could not stop the tears anymore.

I was MOVED!!!!
Can any one of you not think that the stranger was a lover boy ?? Did anyone expect that the emotions portrayed were of the father’s ?
I re-read everything again and it seems to be a perfect match to a father’s feelings as well. I was just imagining Prakash Raj in Aakaashamantha :-).
Brilliantly Written !! :-)

A Sunday Morning – Just before Valentine’s Day !!

I woke up in the morning with a call from Offshore Batch Support guys about a job abend. Saw the time and it was about to be 6. Solved it and suddenly thought NOT to go back to sleep and enjoy these early morning moments. I got out of bed and brushed. Then turned on the TV and the movie “Guddi” was playing :-). Nice movie to start off the day. Old Hindi movies always a pleasure to watch. BTW , one of my all time favourites in old Hindi category is “Parichay”. I just love Jayabhaduri of those days. I made myself some tea as my throat was craving for it :-).

Finished it off and came outside our flat to phone my mom. She would be waiting for it on weekends. The morning chillness turned me really ON. Wow.... what a weather :-) !!! And trees and greenery in San Marino are like awesome. I called my mom and got to know that she is outside. She said she would call me back. So took a little walk and came to the lawn area of our complex and sat down alone.

It suddenly struck to me that this was like a perfect morning. I am enjoying it so much and after sometime felt that I should blog :-).
So went back home and brought my lappy here. I am sitting here in the lawn of San Marino on a Sunday morning blogging !! :-) Wow......this is one of my idealistic and perfect situations in life that I always crave for :-).
And that too , just the before day of Valentine’s Day!!!!

Valentine’s Day is special for me in TWO ways. One because it is the day when people CELEBRATE LOVE and the other is............. this is the day I MET R exactly two years back :-).
I can’t help but feel nostalgic and have butterflies in my tummy when I think of that day :-).

If I just go back the pages of my memory , lemme think what I can remember.
R was travelling back to India and he was to land at Hyd on the 14th. And they had to come and see me on the same day.
I was taking bath and my father shouted that I got a call on my cell and he took it and it was R and wanted to talk to me.
I was really bewildered with his boldness and all that. Because , our marriage was not yet fixed. We just talked over phone in the last one month and now we wanted to see each other in order to make that decision.
So frankly I was a little surprised at his boldness in calling me just before our “Pelli choopulu”. Obviously , our every move was scanned by our respective parents ;-).

Anyways , forget about that. I did not even try calling him back :-). They had to come sometime in the afternoon. You know right... our parents , they had some “Muhurtam” for “Pelli Choopulu” as well. Huhhh!!!!
It’s better to keep mum about it. I got ready and sat in a “Blue” saree as R liked Blue and Black. Obviously I was not allowed to wear a Black , so I wore a Blue one. I was mentally prepared for one particular time and they had actually come in a little early. My mother suddenly came in and said we had to go to the Hall. I was not at all prepared. I was so relaxed inside. Suddenly , my heart began thumping like never before and I felt I will fall down there itself. I was that scared. But didn’t have much of an option so was literally by all means DRAGGED outside by my mother :-). And I guess R saw that as well and smiled at it.

Like a lame lamb , I staggered and went and sat in front of them. There were only 3 people. R , my mom-in-law and R’s Babai. As usual , the first question R’s Babai asked was my name and I repeated it. I saw R and I just could not connect to the person I saw in the photos. He was so different , basically because of his hair cut. His photos at JoBurg were with long hair and he had a haircut just before he came to India. And the rest was like some movie story. We went to my room to chat alone. But then , we could not speak anything. All my cousins started pouring in one by one and got introduced to R. It was frankly pissing off as I wanted sometime alone with him :-). We didn’t speak anything at all. He asked me if it was a Yes from me and I said “Yes” :-). But then , the thing that scared me the most was our marriage date :-(

Wow... I remember so much of what happened two years back. Isn’t it like some movie clipping ;-). Good na. But then , you know what. Before my so called “Pelli Choopulu , I took a promise from my father that he would allow me and R to go out to a restaurant or somewhere to spend some time alone. My father promised that he would convince R’s parents and let us go. But that became a flop show as it was Valentine’s Day and it was not safe to roam around outside as places would be too crowded and stuff. See , some advantages and some disadvantages.

So.... this was my story people!!!! Wow.. I just can’t help blushing at how I blogged this whole thing sitting on a bench in our lawn on a Sunday morning !!!! :-)