Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Letters over Emails

Long gone are the days when people used to wait for the postman to come and drop off letters at our nearby Postbox. Long gone are the days when we used to buy yellow postcards and blue colour inland letters. Long gone are the days when we used to collect foreign stamps and show them to everybody proudly.

Long gone are the days when I used to buy nice flowery envelopes and sheets in “Archies Gallery” to write a message to somebody.

Sadly , now our world remains with electronic mails :-(.

Personally, I feel that there is no “Human Touch” to an Email.I prefer writing letters rather than emails. I love the handwriting in those letters and would prefer people to send me letters over emails , atleast once in a while. I have treasured my childhood letters that I got from various people. The joy that I get when I see a past letter is very very different from the feeling I have when I read a previous email.

My first letter to my husband was also a handwritten letter. And now it remains one of his priced possessions :-) !!

Believe me............. Its really different !!

Monday, December 6, 2010

Diwali – The Festival of Lights – Always my Favourite !!

There is something in a “Deepam” or “Diya” or a “Oil Lamp” which attracts me :-)

I have been a fan of it since my childhood and my mood automatically radiates when I see bright diyas anywhere. I go to the temple , mainly to light these deepams and stand there staring at them. I must say that the TamilNadu temples look much more good than Andhra temples. And they give lots of importance to Deepams. Only in Tamil Nadu , I have seen people selling these oil lamps which the devotees can light in the temple. Simple , you need not be prepared and take it from home. They are readily available :-).

Before Marriage , for Diwali , I made it a point to put up some kind of Rangoli at home and then decorate them with as many deepams as possible. And then , I spent the rest of the festival just staring away to glory at them. I fall in love with them and I capture those perfect moments in my mind forever.

After marriage , in JoBurg , I hardly thought that I could make my Diwali so colourful as I was not sure if people would allow us and all that. But my two years of Diwali till now have been equally colourful and bright :-).

My mom keeps telling me that she also lights a lamp on behalf of me whenever and to whichever place she goes and remembers me fondly. Such is my love for lights :-) !!

No matter what , I will continue to light lamps for any occasion the whole of my life. I find God in them and I find peace and Divinity in them !!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Sunrise at North Cliff

A week back , we had gone to view the sunrise at a place called North Cliff in JoBurg, which is quite near to our place. We had been planning this from a long long time. Finally could make it. I was very happy. But the challenging part was........ getting up and reaching the place by 5 AM.Thankfully we made it before the sunrise and the sun came up at around 5:15. What a sight!! Life is so beautiful and God is so wonderful !! :-)

My heart is beating fast.........my heart is beating fast....

I am always nervous even if I know that I am right and I am fighting for my right. It has not been easy....... not at all easy.......because I am not comfortable talking to new people and in a way I am tired of re-iterating the same issue again and again. All in Vain! Nobody seems to see sense in my argument at all. Even after the case is so clean , nobody seems to see any sense in what I say....... and nobody seems to acknowledge anything.

I guess I am the stupid idiot fighting for this. If it was anybody else , may be they would not have fought for so long............ but I chose not to keep quiet. And I chose to shout out loud.......... no matter what !

But then its a struggle you know.......... its not that easy.......... unfortunately ! :-(

My appraisal. My manager has been quite a good guy though I don’t approve many of his mannerisms and all that. He has always appreciated my passion towards work. My mind knew that he has a good impression on me or atleast thinks that I am out of the crowd. But the way he behaved when it came to my appraisal......... I didn’t expect it at all. I had a discussion with him and he quickly told me that he gave me a ECC but my Level2 manager has changed it without even asking him. And he told me to send him a mail with all the appreciations etc and said that he would fight on my behalf. And I like a little ignorant fool did whatever he wanted and kept reminding him of the issue. He insisted that he wanted a reply from J and will wait for it. Though I knew it was a futile effort , I kept quiet.......... just because he was trying to fight on my behalf. But then , he gave me the greatest jolt of my life. Suddenly one day , he just replied saying that ECC is given to extremely and exceptionally good people and may be I need to do a little more in terms of blah blah blah which he already commented in my appraisal that he is impressed about the same blah blah blah.

Thats it. He just sent this mail and kept quiet. He knew he was contradicting himself , but still chose to do it and left my side in such a horrible way. He didn’t even speak to me about it. Though he knew that somebody else has overrided his decision , he still chose to keep silent. I know why........... because he didn’t want to take it to the next level and spoil his relationship with people. He chose to compromise on his morals and ethics but he didn’t chose to compromise on his relationship with J. Knowing what kind of a guy he is, I just want to ask one question............ doesn’t his conscious prick him for doing this ?

If I were in his place , irrespective of what would happen to me , I would have fought for the right of my subordinate who deserved it. And more than anything , I would have been eager to know what was the reason for changing it when I myself feel that she is an ECC candidate.

I am still fighting for my right and have escalated this to various levels. Nobody seems to even acknowledge that something is definitely wrong except for one person. But ofcourse things were not in his hands either.

Even after having so many appreciation mails and even after working so hard for one year and even after getting ECC from my direct supervisor , why do I have to go through all this ?

Friday, November 26, 2010

Dedicated to Tejaswee Rao

Her Blog Link : http://blabberblah.wordpress.com/

Its very strange how I got to know about Tejaswee and her life. Last Friday , I was just browsing through random blogs in Google and through somebody else’s blog ( I don’t even remember whom ) , I came to this blog which was kind of unique. I was flattered by the first post “A Letter to the Future”. And then I could not stop myself from reading her entire blog. Little did I expect that she is no more now. It left a deep impact in my heart that day.

Its really true that our life is so uncertain. When we get up in the morning, we don’t even know whether we will come back to the same bed that we got up. This blog of TJ (like her friends call her) left a really deep impact in my heart. And the fact that she is no more and the fact that it all happened in damn 10 to 12 days really startled me. God give strength to her family and friends to cope with the loss.

I spent 2 whole days reading her blog and then further found links to her mother and friends blogs. It was really good reading about all their experiences. TJ was an animal lover and wanted to adopt a child in the future. She spread optimism and laughter wherever she was. Her thoughts are really divine.

I took one resolution that day.......... that I will always continue blogging. In future, even if I am no more, my dear ones can always treasure my blog and my writings............ just the way Tejaswee is still alive because of her blog :-)

Rest in Peace Tejaswee......... I really wish I had known you before. I dedicate this post to you and all your dear ones who are coping with your absence.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Why do we always need to fight for the correct things to happen ?

“Rules are meant to be broken”. I am fed up of this phrase..... seriously......

It may not be “Rules” , but don’t people have “Morals and Ethics” ? Don’t their conscious prick them when they do something like cheating people or using the allowances provided to them for their own convenience?

I know I pose lots of questions and my thoughts seldom have a full stop. But I can’t help it. I just cant help getting annoyed with all the “S***T” that keeps happening.

Let me give you an example..... “A Pension Clerk”. Does he understand the criticality or the sensitivity of his job ? How many people who sit on the customer facing side of the Pensions Department in India have the dedication to get things done on time? How many of them understand the sensitivity of the issue and how many of them understand the emotions and the needs attached to each and every Pension Case that comes to them? How many of them really feel .......“let me do my best to bring smiles on at least some of them on time” ? They need not do something extra-ordinary for this. They just need to do their job right..... that’s all is the DEMAND. But Alas! Not many people can fulfil this too. What a shame!

Taking Office stationery home and using office benefits for personal purposes. And when it comes to claims , I just don’t need to elaborate. Its the will and wish of the people who claim and the people approve it. The people who work hard hardly get recognised. They know he deserves it , but still deny it. And there is nobody to explain this unfair thing. All they needed to do was think with their minds and hearts ON. I guess “Honesty and Sincerity” have lost their real sense long back. I can show infinite such examples everyday........ everywhere ! You can compromise on anything but not on the “RIGHT” things right?

Why do we always need to fight for the right things to happen ? Everybody is hell-bent on bending the rules and laws in their own will and wish ! Is there nobody who can stop this ? X-(

My heart just cries out loud :-( !!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

After a very very long time...............

Its been ages since I tried to blog..........partly because I was pre-occupied with so much other stuff in my life !! It has been more than an year in Johannesburg now and more than three years in Wipro :-) and more than an year married ! Quite a big deal!

So many things have changed in the past one year.....I spent one successful year in Testing and now I am again back to my own stream SAP Support. Didn’t really think that it would be possible.... but finally managed it..... Thanks to my managers and some amount of luck as well.

South Africa is a beautiful place except the concerns on security and stuff like that. Cannot walk freely on the streets and have to be cautious on what places to visit etc. Apart from that , really enjoyed the beauty of this country and my sweet little home in San Marino........got so much attached to it and just don’t feel like leaving it...... after all my first home.... or should I say our ( Ravi& Me) first sweet little home.

Learnt so many things after leaving my parents and my home in Hyderabad. First of all , learnt how lucky I was staying with my parents all along. Amma would do everything for me and I would still complain that things are not right..... but now.... I have a home of my own and I should take care of it....... Wow!!l Looks Wow.... but when I actually got into it , understood the difficulty.... hahahaha...
As a woman , working as well as trying to manage my home has been quite challenging. Though Ravi doesnot have too many demands at home , its difficult to convince myself that I am not able to do everything that a “Dharam Patni” shoud ideally do :-). I love arranging my home , keeping it neat and clean and above all , I love cooking for my husband. Ravi says , not required. But its hard to convince myself :-).

Arey haan , “I love cooking for my husband” se yaad aayaaa......... there is huge change in the perception after marriage you know. I forget thinking about what I like and I always end up thinking of what Ravi likes. If I am in a vegetable shop , I look around for veggies and fruits which are Ravi’s favs. Aloo is Ravi’s favourite....... so I end up making aloo sabji in different ways very frequently. Its like you have lost yourself literally but found yourself in your family’s joy. If I am like this now..... then God only should know how I will change when I have kids :-).

With Ravi , it had always been like being with a friend on par rather than with a husband who is supposed to be superior. May be because of the very less age difference between us , or because we are colleagues as well. I have always imagined a married life with a person who is more powerful than me , more superior to me in age , experience and everything and I just listening to him...... very filmy right ;-) But it was never that way with Ravi. Yes , he is superior in his thoughts and very very matured when it comes to supporting me in my thick and thin , but always on par giving me the prime importance and the freedom I needed.

Hmm.... now since I have again started posting things , I guess I will be blogging frequently.I am actually not practising any of my so-called hobbies which now remain just on papers :-(. I brought my violin when I went to India in March , but didn’t get to lay hands on it till today. Guess I should take out more time for myself !!