Yee Rishtaa Kyaa kehlaata hai!!

April 4th , 2009 : It is exactly one month since we got married!!

The red sindhoor at the tip of my hair , the bangles and especially the long mangalasutra (which comes out and grabs my attention whenever I bend down)…………all of them remind me every now and then that there is another person in my life , who is as important as myself to me.

The last one month has been the most mind blowing experience of my life!

Right from the settling of the marriage till Ravi going back to Jo’Burg…..everything was just like some fairy tale…………some movie clipping………

We kept reminding each other of the fact that we are married now , for almost 15 days after the D-day………..Pataa nahin yaar……..digest karnaa bahut mushkil thaaa…..hehehehe………..

Two of the many incidents which confirmed that I am a married girl now, mentally, are:

Incident no 1:

This happened on March 17^th……the day Ravi went back to Jo’Burg……

Ravi went for some shopping and left his phone at home. One of his colleague from Jo’Burg called up…..

The conversation went on this way….

Other person : I am X calling from Jo’Burg….can I speak to Ravi?

Me: Ravi forgot his cellphone at the house. He has gone for some shopping…. Do you want to leave a message for him…

Other person : May I know who is speaking?

Me : I am his wife speaking (Without even thinking for a second. As if it was very very usual and I am saying it for the infineth time.)

Other person : Oh ok…Congratulations!!

Can you believe this…………..

I am sure the person who spoke to me would have gone crazy as to how this girl, who just married Ravi , seemed so usual already?

I am still wondering as to how that sentence just came out of my mouth so spontaneously………….

The paradox was……we were still struggling to get used to the fact that we are married……and suddenly this sentence comes out of my mouth so spontaneously, without even giving a pause…….Strange!!

Does this mean………..I have accepted the fact sub-consciously? ;-) Heheheh

Incident no 2:

I have always felt that my mother’s role is a very enjoyable one, as she has her husband and kids whom she can depend on. Incase of an argument , she cleverly switches sides…..sometimes towards the children, blaming her husband……and sometimes towards her husband, blaming her children………….

I used to be very envious of this thing that she enjoyed.............

Two weeks back , a similar kind of thing happened. We had an argument at home and suddenly my mother changed the side , and started complaining to my father that I am not responsible etc etc…….

My instant reaction to that:

“ Not only you , even I have a person to complain now!!”

( Did I really say this?? Did I?? Did I?? )

That’s it !! My mother was shocked and my father could not stop laughing……

He said to my mother…….”Yeah she is right. If you have your husband to complain about her, now she has her husband to complain about you. Simple!!”

I kept thinking the whole day , again , as to how did this sentence come out of my mouth without my notice.

The same question again…….. “Have I already accepted the fact sub-consciously?”

Obviously , the answer is “Yes”(true to my innerself). Ofcourse my outer ego will never agree to this ;-)

Today we celebrate the completion of one month of our married life , in which we have been together for two weeks and we have been very far away from each other for the next two weeks( Doesn’t it seem too small for the build-up that I have given above…..hehehehe…..anyways…..leave it)

I carry a mixed bag of experiences regarding the last one month……….happiness , excitement , disappointment , sadness , neutralness etc etc etc………...everything………

But yeah one thing……….

Yee Rishtaa Kyaa Kehlaata Hai??

Dheeree Dheeree Samajh Mein Aa Rahaa Hai!! :-)

BLACK – The Colours Of Life!!

It has been exactly one year since my visit to Sphoorti for the first time.
And today is my brother’s birthday too !!
Again , we planned to go to Sphoorti , and excitedly bought many things to give to the children. But things did not happen as decided. I spoke to Srivyal in the morning and was very disappointed to hear that the children went to school and will not be back before 1 PM in the afternoon.

So , I called up Kranthi and she told me another place to visit.
DevNar Blind School , Begumpet !!

Really really glad that we could get an opportunity to go there today. It was again a very very different feeling which can be just experienced and probably cant be expressed in words.

By the time I, my brother and my cousin bother went there , they were preparing for a flag hoisting. The children had just finished their breakfast and were getting ready for the assembly. It was a different kind of an experience meeting those children.

In sphoorti , we saw children who were abandoned by their parents or couldnot be fed by their poor families. But , today , here , we saw , physically challenged children. Even these children stay together in a hostel and study, away from their parents. But the only difference is, they donot not know any other colour except, BLACK !!

Still , there was so much enthusiasm in them. Even though , they were really unfortunate and in pain , they did not complain. They were soo happy together yaar !!

Today , I realized the power of TOUCH !! I was just roaming around talking to all the children to get acquainted to them. I was really touched. I met a small child , who was just passing by me. I just bent down, touched his hand and said “Hello , how are you?? “.
Suddenly, the grip tightened . And he answered enthusiastically , “ Hiiiiii , I am fine “.
And we had a lovely 10 min conversation. By the end of the conversation , he almost embraced me completely and was not ready to go for the assembly.

Mere bahut samjhaanee see , he went back . But he kept coming back again and again to get a feel of me. That I am still there !!

I really don’t have more words to explain further. We HAVE to do something for the abandoned. There is every need to make the depressed feel WANTED.

Next time , if anyone of you happen to visit a children’s home , just give a child a tight hug , and then tell me your after thoughts !!

It would be a pleasure to listen to your experiences!! :-)

Arranged Marriages…….

I have always believed in love after marriage rather than marriage after love!!
I have always belived that , to build a relationship , we need to invest good amount of time and effort !! And things will happen gradually !!

May be that’s one of the reasons why….I chose to go for an arranged marriage……though I would have really liked to marry a person who is one of my good friends. Or rather I would say…..I would have loved to marry a person whom I am comfortable with. But , I did not find a person so close to my heart that I would marry him.. :-)
So , the real reason is , I don’t think I was left with any other option… ;-) Ha Ha

A cute Ad (Tea Ad) comes to my mind when I think of arranged marriages:
A lovely definition and description of an arranged marriage!!

A Daughter-in-law keeps talking to her mother-in-law and father-in-law, while having tea.
Daughetr-in-law: Mummyji , was yours a love marriage or an arranged marriage??
Mother-in-law : Bahuuuuuu , ofcourse Love Marriage !!
Daughter-in-law : Kyaa?? Sacchii??
Mother-in-law: Jub uskii baraat hamaare ghar ke saamne khadi thi , ham logon ne ek doorsee ko dekhaaa…. Aur pehlii nazar mein pyaar hogayaa…..huyee na love marriage !!

And everybody end up laughing!!

Very true!! In all senses , this is what happens in an arranged marriage. The person is a stranger to you , till you get married. And after you are married, he/she becomes your LIFE :-) !! Hain naa interesting?? ;-))

But , on a serious note , arranged marriages are a real gamble yaar!! You will remain completely clueless about the person whom you are going to get married to and the life that is going to exist between the both of them.
From a girls’s perspective , the things that come to our mind , when we opt for an arranged marriage are:
-- How would it feel to marry a person whom we hardly know?
-- How would it feel to realize that rest of our life depends a person whom our parents are gonna get us married to?

The questions seem a little serious eh?? Well they are!!……. But my mother says…that this is a natural feeling that every girl goes through , when she is about to get married…………

TEEN SUICIDES!!

You know what the cover strory of this month’s India Today is……
TEEN SUICIDES….and the study says that the percentage has dangerously increased by a very huge amount during the recent years.

India tops the charts in TEEN SUICIDES…….I was suddenly taken aback…..what the hell!!…..India tops the charts!!!...How surprising was that??…….Previously , it was the US that has topped in teen suicides and crime. Is this called as “being cool” or “westernizing” ?? Where is India heading to in the near future?? It is a real big question mark…..

The main causes for teen suicide as in the survey conducted are :
1) Parental pressure to perform well in the acads.
2) Inability to cope with disappointments and failures.

And above all, parents don’t have an inkling or the slightest clue about their children’s depression or suicidal tendencies…………SIXER!!!

90% of the suicide notes have their childrem apologizing to their parents for not being able to perform well….”sorry baba, I let you down”…..”Sorry appa,I failed in the exam.I cant show my face to you again”……….”amma I am not able to take any more pressure”……”I QUIT”.

Can anyone understand how depressing and helpless these notes are !!!

Why doesnt the parents give their children breathing space?Why cant they just leave them alone?Why does every parent in the world want their child to get the number ONE mark always? As said in Taree Zameen par……..Har maa baap ko avval number kaa bacchaa hi kyon chaahiyeee??… bakee ke bacchhon kaa kyaa haal hoga?

It is very very annoying that the parents don’t have the slightest clue that their children are under such mental pressure. Why doesn’t a father speak like a friend to his son and find out what his son’s actual thoughts are? Why don’t the children have the right to think innovatively?If all the people become software engineers and doctors , who will take up a career in other fields.

Adolescence is such a delicate stage of life for any human-being.Why doesn’t the parents feel the responsibility to handle their children with care and counsel them properly. Do they have to dictate their children’s future just because they have given birth to them?Why cant they guide their children properly when they need it the most?Why is there such a huge gap between a child and a parent that the child would find “DYING” easier than confronting their parents………..

I have the greatest fear that all these questions will remain un-answered.!!

Love is Universal!!

Recently , I happened to watch a wonderful movie…. Gamyam…..Though I feel that the director was only 70% percent successful in conveying what the story writer wanted to express , the story, dialogues and what was wanted to be conveyed were simple SUPERB!!

There is particular scene in the movie which I loved and it brought tears into my eyes.
The hero is always at the back of a girl who is a medico and keeps moving in various camps from one place to another providing medical help to the common people.I should say that she works at the grass root level , SERVING people.

The hero is a rich kid who was brought with only the riches in the world and nothing else.
He is always at the back of the girl roaming to whatever place she goes claiming that he loves her very much and he is wanting the same from her.

One day when both of them were walking on the road, a lady comes up to them along with her new born baby thanking the heroine for her medical help during her delivery and asks the hero who was beside her to bless her baby showing lots of love and gratitude towards them. This arrogant guy shoos her off rudely and says that he is sick of such an cheap and a poor environment. For that, the girl asks him only one question.

Heroine( to the hero): Can you really take love if it is given??
Hero : Of course and it is the only reason I am behind you from so many days( wanting your love).
Heroine : That lady tried to give love to you. But you had hurt her feelings by shooing her off rudely. Can you really take love if it is given??
Hero : Don’t be silly. I don’t need that lady’s love. I need your love. That lady does not mean anything to me. I don’t need to show her love.
Heroine : That’s the biggest mistake you are making. Love is universal . How can you love me when you are not able to reciprocate to the love that the lady has expressed??

HOW TRUE!! I was completely bowled over by this. Really , Love is universal. How can you love a particular person when you are not able to love the people around you. Is the love that you show to your family different from the love you show to a neighbor? Though you might not know that person , atleast you could reciprocate wishing her good luck which would have been so good to her .

Who says that movies don’t teach us anything. It is such a powerful medium. As long as we have the right people who could built up such superb movies , there is so much that could be shown on the silver screen which could influence the thought process of thousands of people.

Sphoorti-A Way of living!!

Recently I visited a home for the orphan kids…Sphoorti foundation.It was really the most thought provoking and joyful day of my life.

I joined a community called Santhwana in orkut and through this found out that there is an organization which takes up the responsibility of the abandoned kids.When asked whom should we give more importance for the development of the country , I would definitely say that the concentration should be on children because they are the future of our country. Every child is special and has the full right of studying and going to greater heights in their lives. What an opportunity it would be to help an organization that takes up the responsibility of abandoned and orphan kids like a mother.

Initially I was hesitant about how to approach the organization without knowing anybody there and all that.But better late than never , Santhwana had organized a meal for those kids and spending half a day with them.And believe me , the response from the kids was amazing.Though they don’t know you, they coming running to you and welcome you into their small world with utmost love. How haeartless are those parents who did not care to think a moment before leaving their children!! And that too, these lovely kids who are the fresh buds ready to blossom. What a blessing it would be to be a part of such and organization and help small children.

Here is an introduction of the organization
SPHOORTI is a simple grassroots organization working for underprivileged children - homeless, orphaned, abandoned and other at-risk groups.
Children at SPHOORTI are in our complete care and custody and we are committed to impacting their lives 24x7, 365 days a year.
SPHOORTI was established in Aug 2006 with 3 children. We are currently supporting 45 children at our Home in Hyderabad and in addition, we sponsor education of 9 other children.

For more information you can visit its site.
http://www.sphoorti.org/
(Its founder is Srivyal Vuyyuri who did his masters in Economics and came back to fulfill his dream) .

The Kids are really lovely.I went with one of my friends on Republic day and took small flags along with me to pin them up on people who are interested.
Jab maine poochaa ki kis kis ko flags chaahiye…..sab doudke chalee aayee meree pas….and the most surprising and the lovliest part was that they systematically stood in a line while I and my friend were pinning them up.After finishing their turn , they are concerned whether their other friends also have them or not.There were many kids coming back to me with some of their other friends who were shy to come to me.Such unity!! I tneee nanhee nanhee bacchon mein who pyaar aur apnaapan deekhke to mujhe to ronaa hi aayaaa……You will have to experience it to feel it.

And by the time it was time for me to leave, there were many of them who said…. “akka appudee velipotunnaavaaa” . What relation do they have with me to persuade me not to leave. Kyaa sahee maayineee mein pyaar yaheen hai??

At that point , I felt that, if I can be of any use to make a life of atleast one among them , that would be enough.This visit to Sphoorti was really an eye opener. Many of them feel that if they donate money , they are DONE with it. But its not done.I agree that yes,without money we can do nothing. But apart from that , there is a lot more that can be done. There is every need to make the depressed feel wanted.There is every need to spend time with them and love them. I am sure they wont disappoint us.

LOVE!!!

LOVE….the four lettered word. What meaning does it have….What do you mean by love….many people have tried to define love in their own words and have a perspective of their own about it….but many people have also failed to identify love and have not found any definitions for it…it remains a puzzle for them…

In my opinion….it is wrong to define love…because I don’t think that love has any particular form or definition….Love is the hope with which we live and it is not only the kind of relationship that exists between a male and a female….it has many forms….even friendship is a kind of love….and any kind of a positive feeling can be called as love may be….it is the kind of relationship that exists between a child and a mother…a father and a mother…a brother and a sister and even owner and a servant….

LOVE is a HOPE with which we move forward in LIFE.