Situation Demads!!! :-(

I support Anna Hazare and I guess he will ashamed of me if he listens to this. I joined a car driving school………primarily to get a license and also learn driving. I have been resisting this all through my life till now. But then the dire necessity of a driving license has made me compromise and go to them for help. To be plain, I don’t like giving bribes. Now, if I start elaborating the subject of bribes, then I don’t think this post will ever be enough for what I would want to write.

When I was in my engineering, I wrote the learners license test and failed twice. And finally got it in the third attempt. It was one hell kind of an experience and each time I wrote the exam , it would take 4 to 5 hours in a day , starting from standing in the queue , taking the photograph , waiting to write the test and then for them to give us the result sheet. The computers in that center have such horrible mouse that it would take an hour to move from one question to another. Of course, that may not be an excuse but somehow I used to fail that exam and I don’t know why :-(.

Most importantly, the people in the RTA office are so corrupt that one Anna Hazare is not enough to set right that whole traffic department and system. Even though it was tough, I and my bro went the right way and got the LLR. We could not proceed to the practical test as I always feared that he would wantedly fail me as I won’t give him a bribe. I had a scooty and use it for many years on the roads of Hyderabad, but never had a driving license. I could not do a U-turn with the scooty without putting my leg down and that meant a big FAIL in the practical test, hence no driving license.

But now I need it and I need it for a car and that too in a month’s time which meant I don’t have time for a second chance in the practical test. Hence, I had to go in for a driving school as they had agents who get it done. See how necessity pulls us down to what levels!!

Off goes my job in Wipro!!

But with a very valid and a responsible reason :-). I resigned!

My instant reaction to this:
Tears in my eyes and a very sad and an unhappy feeling. I was in the same company from when I was campus recruited. It’s been four and a half years. Having a job always gave me a kind of confidence that I am worth something in life:-). Years back when I studied in school and college, I never ever though I could get a job. May be I under-estimated myself ;-). But then, being recruited by Wipro was a very nice feeling that I had as it gave me confidence in life. Now losing that suddenly gave a jolt to my self-confidence and everything.

My after thoughts:
Shouldn’t I be ashamed of crying when I had to resign? In fact I should be proud I did it :-). I did it for my child and this act only proves that my child is more important to me than anything else. I was so wrong in thinking that having a job was a measure of my competency. How materialistic was I thinking huhhhh !! In life , being a loving mother is a tougher job than being a good IT professional. My mother is working too but then she could give us the attention that we required at a tender age as her job was not so demanding and had flexible timings. But our jobs now are a way tooo demanding and take away whatever energy we have for the day. I would say that even work from home is a bad option, as you are at home for namesake and always in front of the computer. It takes away so much energy. Overall, I don’t feel that bad:-). My mother told me that this is a golden opportunity that God has given you to concentrate on what you are doing. How true!! :-). She said “Till now, you were a good “working wife”. Now be a good “homemaker” and a “mother”. Be glad that you are getting this opportunity. Not many people have this independence.”

Conclusion:
Life teaches us so many lessons as we go up the ladder of age. I am glad I could grab one!

Nice!!

I got a forwarded mail from Malar today. Thanks to her , I started my day on a very positive note. The essence of it stirred all emotions in me and I had a new ray of hope that I can write in the same way someday.

Can’t help but put this as a post in my blog :-) !!

The Stranger

She was getting engaged.
And all I could do was stand by and applaud along with all.
I didn’t dare opening my mouth for fearing of saying something stupid , something like “I LOVE YOU”.

I remembered the other day when she had come to me with red eyes. Her “best friend” was going away. It had never mattered to me that her best friend was a guy. But her tears awoke the sin of jealousy in my heart. Fighting it , I had consoled her and given her chocolates to eat. She proceeded to rest her head in the crook of my arm. And promptly fell asleep. I chuckled at her bay-like innocence. But now , as I applauded , I felt something stabbing at my heart.

She was getting married.
I saw her come down the stairs decked out in her bridal finery. Never had I seen her looking this pretty. I saw her taking the seven rounds around the sacred fire with the man I had come to hate , holding his hand.I saw her exchanging garlands with him.

She was a total stranger to me now.

I saw her standing near the car when they both came over to me. I wondered what they wanted. I wondered how to say farewell to the Departed.
Nevertheless , as my daughter and son-in-law touched my feet , I blessed them. She was openly crying , I told her not to worry. That I will always be there.
She responded by hugging me. And I could not stop the tears anymore.

I was MOVED!!!!
Can any one of you not think that the stranger was a lover boy ?? Did anyone expect that the emotions portrayed were of the father’s ?
I re-read everything again and it seems to be a perfect match to a father’s feelings as well. I was just imagining Prakash Raj in Aakaashamantha :-).
Brilliantly Written !! :-)

A Sunday Morning – Just before Valentine’s Day !!

I woke up in the morning with a call from Offshore Batch Support guys about a job abend. Saw the time and it was about to be 6. Solved it and suddenly thought NOT to go back to sleep and enjoy these early morning moments. I got out of bed and brushed. Then turned on the TV and the movie “Guddi” was playing :-). Nice movie to start off the day. Old Hindi movies always a pleasure to watch. BTW , one of my all time favourites in old Hindi category is “Parichay”. I just love Jayabhaduri of those days. I made myself some tea as my throat was craving for it :-).

Finished it off and came outside our flat to phone my mom. She would be waiting for it on weekends. The morning chillness turned me really ON. Wow.... what a weather :-) !!! And trees and greenery in San Marino are like awesome. I called my mom and got to know that she is outside. She said she would call me back. So took a little walk and came to the lawn area of our complex and sat down alone.

It suddenly struck to me that this was like a perfect morning. I am enjoying it so much and after sometime felt that I should blog :-).
So went back home and brought my lappy here. I am sitting here in the lawn of San Marino on a Sunday morning blogging !! :-) Wow......this is one of my idealistic and perfect situations in life that I always crave for :-).
And that too , just the before day of Valentine’s Day!!!!

Valentine’s Day is special for me in TWO ways. One because it is the day when people CELEBRATE LOVE and the other is............. this is the day I MET R exactly two years back :-).
I can’t help but feel nostalgic and have butterflies in my tummy when I think of that day :-).

If I just go back the pages of my memory , lemme think what I can remember.
R was travelling back to India and he was to land at Hyd on the 14th. And they had to come and see me on the same day.
I was taking bath and my father shouted that I got a call on my cell and he took it and it was R and wanted to talk to me.
I was really bewildered with his boldness and all that. Because , our marriage was not yet fixed. We just talked over phone in the last one month and now we wanted to see each other in order to make that decision.
So frankly I was a little surprised at his boldness in calling me just before our “Pelli choopulu”. Obviously , our every move was scanned by our respective parents ;-).

Anyways , forget about that. I did not even try calling him back :-). They had to come sometime in the afternoon. You know right... our parents , they had some “Muhurtam” for “Pelli Choopulu” as well. Huhhh!!!!
It’s better to keep mum about it. I got ready and sat in a “Blue” saree as R liked Blue and Black. Obviously I was not allowed to wear a Black , so I wore a Blue one. I was mentally prepared for one particular time and they had actually come in a little early. My mother suddenly came in and said we had to go to the Hall. I was not at all prepared. I was so relaxed inside. Suddenly , my heart began thumping like never before and I felt I will fall down there itself. I was that scared. But didn’t have much of an option so was literally by all means DRAGGED outside by my mother :-). And I guess R saw that as well and smiled at it.

Like a lame lamb , I staggered and went and sat in front of them. There were only 3 people. R , my mom-in-law and R’s Babai. As usual , the first question R’s Babai asked was my name and I repeated it. I saw R and I just could not connect to the person I saw in the photos. He was so different , basically because of his hair cut. His photos at JoBurg were with long hair and he had a haircut just before he came to India. And the rest was like some movie story. We went to my room to chat alone. But then , we could not speak anything. All my cousins started pouring in one by one and got introduced to R. It was frankly pissing off as I wanted sometime alone with him :-). We didn’t speak anything at all. He asked me if it was a Yes from me and I said “Yes” :-). But then , the thing that scared me the most was our marriage date :-(

Wow... I remember so much of what happened two years back. Isn’t it like some movie clipping ;-). Good na. But then , you know what. Before my so called “Pelli Choopulu , I took a promise from my father that he would allow me and R to go out to a restaurant or somewhere to spend some time alone. My father promised that he would convince R’s parents and let us go. But that became a flop show as it was Valentine’s Day and it was not safe to roam around outside as places would be too crowded and stuff. See , some advantages and some disadvantages.

So.... this was my story people!!!! Wow.. I just can’t help blushing at how I blogged this whole thing sitting on a bench in our lawn on a Sunday morning !!!! :-)

Expression :

I don’t know what is happening to me. At one point of time , I used to be “the most” expressive of all. And now , I feel that I have lost that character in me :-(. Last week , one of my good friends left SA. We have spent some good times together and I will cherish them. But I was not able to look into her eyes and say that I will miss you. And this week , another good friend is leaving. She told me today that she is gonna miss me. But I just couldnot reply saying “I will miss you too”. Why am I hiding my emotions so badly ?? My college friends used to say that I am the most expressive of all and stuff. Then , what happened to me now ??
The same thing happened when my mom left. She said many times that its gonna be difficult when she goes back and she really missed me badly. But then on the last day , I was not even able to tell my mother “I will miss you”. I avoided eye contact with her.
I was never like this……….. and this behaviour is worrying me :-( !!!!!

My Gift to R on this special day - This Post !!!

Jan 14th 2011 : A broad smile on my face. And to know why…. Read on :-)

Its been two years since I and “R” met….. Now “Met” in the sense , we spoke to each other for the first time. He was in JoBurg and I in Hyd in our own worlds , when this day came with a BANG :-).
Today , I am glad it did. But way back in 2009 , I didn’t like it much. My mom told me about R and their family proposal that had come in……. on the 13th of Jan. Please guys……. Make a note….. 13th of Jan. She just told me his name and said that he also worked in Wipro and asked me to search our official internal Finder for him. And I did , and found him. She asked me how he looked and I said….. “Yeah , okay”.

I said this many times to many guys as it was a daily ritual in my home to browse through matrimonies and asking me to search someone in the Wipro Finder. So I didn’t take it seriously. I just said it.
And then…. Came the news…. She told me that they had already matched both our horoscopes and it seems they matched well. And further on that , they spoke to R’s father in the afternoon for the first time and they wanted more photos of me. Now….. my ego came in. How dare someone asks more photos of me ;-) I kind of didn’t like it. But then , my mom said that they were sending them. She just gave me information :-).

And then the D-day. It was Sankranthi and festive time. At around 11 in the morning , we got a call again , from R’s father giving my father R’s number and asking us to talk to him if interested.
Now…. This was a shocker !!!!!!!! And then instantly , I got the next shocker……….. my father called me and said we are talking to him………. NOW !!!! I was left without any preparation……. NUMBBBBB!!!!

My father spoke to him for 5 mins and then gave it to me. The conversation left me even numb and confused.
The first sentence that came out of Ravi was that he already knew about me and that he checked my orkut profile , blog and everything. And he was all praises for me and also told me that his friends in SA also had read my blog and think it was good and all that. My expression was like………….. “Hold on a sec , we are speaking for the first time and you say that you know me already and everything”. I couldn’t take it……….but then I didn’t show it to him :-).
I finally managed to wrap up the conversation and sat down for 1 hour analysing what happened just now and tried sinking it into my brain.

That day , I was completely baffled , but then now , I laugh it out and celebrate it J. Obviously , it gotta be sweet and memorable. Because that day , I hardly knew that I was gonna marry this guy ;-) !!!!!

Break Ke Baad : Review

I had to post this long long back.... but could not do it due to various reasons. Didn’t want to miss it and hence here it is.

We happened to go to a Meta Fantabulous movie called “ Break Ke Baad”.Wow!! What an experience!! I guess I should punish myself for opting to it. Ravi was suggesting that we have got a CD so we can watch it at home. But Nah , I didn’t listen. All my fault.

The first jolt I got was when the heroine takes out a jumbo size Cigar ( Cigar , mind you... not a cigarette ) and smokes it. I don’t know where the people are , who made a hue and cry seeing Aishwarya Rai in Guzarish with a cigarette. And she kind of passes sarcastic comments on her own mom and declares that she would lose her virginity at 20. Ofcourse not after marriage and stuff. Wonder where the women activists are. She calls people as emotional fools and she is out of all that stuff. I guess she is one rare kind of prodigy born on earth.... and that too a woman.

The entire story was ultimately frustrating and showing Imran compromise always , made my blood boil. Wonder why he agreed to portray such a boneless character. I agree that any relationship calls for some kind of a compromise. But then , the amount to which this guy falls down is too much. The heroine calls her idiotic behaviour as “trying to explore life” , “taking risks” and “being cool”.

The story goes like this...... Aliya and Gulati are childhood friends, but then are completely opposite in their thought processes. Aliya is very independent , daring and cool. Obviously she smokes , drinks etc etc. Gualti is a little emotional , soft and compromising types. He does all sorts of stuff for her , no matter what! Aliya applies for a course is Australia without consulting anybody and declares at the last moment that she is going. Gulati is shocked and hurt and pleads her. But she does not listen , so he has to give in. She says that they need this “Break” in order to find themselves. And then she is off to Australia and enjoying herself , whereas Gulati feels the pinch always. Finally , he ends up at Australia concerned about her and she shouts at him to leave her alone. They “Break Up”. From this point onwards , I had a little hope that there would be something happening which will teach Aliya a lesson. But futile hopes. She does not realise and they concentrate on their careers and work. And then finally , one fine day she hears that Gulati is getting married and then comes back and proposes him. And you know what??......... Gulati is still waiting to marry her and accepts........ GOD save me........

Wasted around 70 odd bucks and came home late.